San Juan and Northern Puerto Rico

My interpretation of Northern Puerto Rico...


We all have a drive to be marooned on an Island paradise. In part because of our drive for exploration and thrill seeking and, because we all enjoy a glimpse of something beautiful. I arrived in Puerto Rico with preconceived notions about the island but, those were soon quelled with the actuality of my circumstance. You see the thing is, I was wrong. So wrong in fact that I was blown away by the sprawling city that stood before me. At first glance I noticed the city's high-rises. In the next moment I took in the vast number of people who were going through the motions of day-to-day life within the city. These things combined to shatter any thought that I might have had prior to engaging the city proper. The hustle and bustle of the people and, the grinding of streetcars along the increasingly bumpy roads as you near the edges of the city aided to this end. From atop my hotel, El Portal, I saw before me a vast metroplex filled with people from every nation, race and, creed. The essence of the city had set it's gaze upon me. This was San Juan. Street-side: Buildings of all shapes and sizes surrounded the expanse before me filled with everything from “Da' Tanning Salon” to sports bars. Booze, bars and, bikinis were abound, swirling about as if the God's had smiled upon this poor boy from Oklahoma. Dropped in the melting pot of the Caribbean I set out to find something new and exciting. Growing feelings of guilt were looming over me, for I had fled the Oklahoma blizzard of '09 and left my friends and family in the drifts. As the day darkened and the moon grew I set out to find what I was searching for. A bar. I needed to understand what it meant to breath San Juan, to feel it. Indeed this was the place to, with all certainty, find it. Having never been to San Juan, I decided to go to smaller place, a likely spot where locals take the edge off of their daily routine. A watering-hole as we say back home. A dive bar. A brisk walk and a cigarette later I arrived at my destination. The neon lights were like the smiles of old familiar friends. The air was thick and permeated by smoke. I had arrived. The bouncer was a large man of about six-foot-three. He smiled and was clearly happy to meet a tourist. And no doubt, I was one. He greeted me and opened the door. I placed my order for the local special, Medalla light, a beer brewed here in Puerto Rico and not sold in the states. I enjoyed the fullness combined with a brush of something lighter. I strolled outside where I noticed the bouncer patting the locals down for weapons before they could enter. A luxury that escaped me however. I sat in a corner observing the locals in their natural habitat pondering what it meant to be a native of this beautiful Island. Of course this meant more than just observations of my first night in paradise but, I felt as though this was as good of a place as any to start my theories about this gargantuan sentiment. I found myself sitting next to a beautiful brown eyed woman with long black hair and decided to endeavor to ask her name. It was Luicia, I tried my hardest not to seem intimidated. It paid off well. She told me of local spots that I had to see (which included the rainforest that we would be touring in the next few days.) I can still see her visage. Lectures and tours followed the next few days as I tried to piece together all that I was being presented with. The lifeblood of Puerto Rico, the island of enchantment. When you arrive in a foreign place you will always be overwhelmed in the beginning. Indeed I was, I was operating two full hours ahead of my life back home and wasn't looking back despite the lack of sleep. Everyday was a whirlwind of tours and guides and, I was trying my hardest to keep up. I visited around 4-5 places everyday. This was no regular vacation, this was knee deep in the vast expanse of 100x35 miles of Puerto Rican culture and sights. A true Grand Tour of Puerto Rico. The day of El Yunque finally arrived, the rainforest, the only one in the U.S. Trees and plants of all kinds surrounded me. This was unlike anything I had ever imagined. I had seen photos of rainforests before but to breath the air, to feel the dirt beneath your toes was surreal. These are the moments we live for, to be in the wild and commune with nature. As I traced the path with my feet I felt the spirit of the place. I saw glimpses of the ancient Tianos hunting and gathering upon their sacred mountain. Ghostly visages of their villages occupying areas among the trees as though they were apart of the rainforest itself. The path through El Yunque was narrow and slick and I lost my footing several times. The trees were like giant people crowded together in harmony and, the only sign of humans was the path that laid before me. I pressed on throughout the wonderment of this place in awe of all that I saw and soon it was in upon me, the waterfall. I approached the titanic waterfall slowly as a hunter stalking it's prey, afraid the majesty of it would escape into the compacted forest that surrounded it. The sound of water smashing upon the rocks was as loud as a south-bound train and was as beautiful a thing as I had ever seen. The water that cascaded down the moss-covered rocks was as cold as ice and pure. I lingered in this place for about a half hour documenting everything I saw with notes and photos, afraid that I might never see this place again. These are the sights that everyone must see, the sites that must be preserved for future generations. As shepherds of the Earth it is our solemn duty to do so. It is the single unifying quality of us all. In Buddhism they teach their followers to “be mindful” which basically translates to this: You must pay attention to how your actions affect the world around you. From this we can learn many things about ourselves and our environment. When I stepped off the plane I was a wholly different man from who I am today now that I have experienced this awesome place. My time spent in the northern landscape of Puerto Rico was enlightening to me. I will never be the same. From my understandings of local culture and the places where they drown their sorrows to the divine surroundings of El Yunque I feel more complete as a human being living on the third rock from the Sun.

Spaceship

I am not sure but I think this is a prayer.

When we figure out just what we think we need in life, it smirks and seems to say “Gotcha.” What a fuck he is…this God person. I mean seriously who would create such a large and expansive Universe, create humans on a remote arm of the Milky Way galaxy, and leave a book there detailing mandates to humanity…yet…leave out the part about how to traverse this virtually infinite expanse of his beautiful “creation”…that we call the Universe. Come on, how kickass would it be to fly around a binary star system?

But Gods a fuckhead, and won’t just fucking take a minute out of his time to build me a badass spaceship. Sure we can go to the Moon and look through telescopes (which is essentially time travel by sight) at distant celestial bodies…OK…I’ll throw Mars in the mix too. Why not? Let’s fucking go to Mars. So two planets and one Moon? That’s all we’re gonna do? That’s all I get for my short lifespan?

Realizing that your one true passion is unachievable because human life is so short is sad. So God, for the love of all that holy-fuck-shit, build me a goddamn spaceship with kickass weapons and a crew of hot alien bitches who like to party…OH, and don’t forget the autopilot…I would hate to get an interstellar D.U.I.

Could you imagine the fine on that one?

People arn't

Remember when reliance was a requisite for humanity?
I don't.


In fact I have never lived in a time in which infallibility was a vital part of my experience.

Sure this concept seems unadorned and homely, but how many times do we expect others to circumvent (or at least aid in) our enigmas?
Be honest with yourself.


No one can claim to be wholly capable in literally all aspects of life. So get fucking real.



We all need a kick in the ass sometimes.


So what?

What does that even mean? Simply put; I have met people whose lives are absolutely consumed with responsibility. Those who have no time to enjoy the simplicity of existence, and yet, they do. These few find solace in life...they don't believe that it is a chore to deal with a routine that at the end of that arduous road will (given time) lead to the very relic they sought.



And yet some with silver tongues will tempt you to eat the apple of their lies. The wicked ones who possess nothing more in their life than their own indulgence.


Those whose souls are covered in a thick tar of self, and who lack the drive to be human.



They spit lies from their gnarled maw about their intentions to amend their relative failures, and these people never find their end of the rainbow.



I just do not have it within me to keep being "civil" with those aforementioned.



So in short,

I wish to jab holes in you with a rail-road-spike, fill you with gasoline, and burn you from the inside out. You fucks.

"Our" star

happens to heat our planet...

Well just so you know, it can cool our planet as well.



I hope humans die so that there is no one left to bitch and whine about the environment....because guess what folks...WE are the problem.



Wise up.



The "Earth" is about 4.6 Billion years old which is relatively 9-10 Billion years LESS than the entire universe.



Humans have been evolving...
-side note: unless you are retarded and claim that evolution is only a "theory"

...for millions of years.



-side note to the side note: Does everyone realize that gravity is "only a theory" too?

Do me a favor, pick up the closest object to you and throw it high in the air.



...so a few million years is a blink in the lifespan of the universe OR even the "Earth.
"

Get off of your goddamn high horse. If you really want to "do the Earth a favor" start convincing people to shoot themselves in the face and die. That way if we could eliminate a "metric-fuck-ton" of the population we might actually be able to live in harmony with the Earth that some of us who wear suits and appear on TV, and are massive consumers in their own right claim to want.



Fuck you and leave your lights on.